The Rollercoaster Week...

Seems like ages have past since that last post but its only been a week! Time flies when your having fun stressed and hormonal!!!

On Tuesday the 25th, I got to hold my Princess for the first time ever, she was 3 days old. She was still super lethargic and looking more yellow by the day but I just kept my faith that they were watching all her levels and taking good care of her. That day we met the coolest NICU nurse, who spoke no English yet interacted with us the most. She even let me feed Bristol. All the pain in the world fled my body and there are no words for the joy I felt in those 90 min. It was leaving the hospital that was the hardest, but we were still set to take her to Yokota the next day.

First time Mommy held Bristol

The Nurse trying to tell me to burp her.

Trying to get her to eat.

 

Wednesday the 26th came and the phone rang at 10am, my heart sank hoping they weren't calling to say she had to stay. Thankfully it was our case manager saying that we were cleared to meet the transport team at 2pm to bring her back to base! I was excited and nervous but very ready to have our little girl home! We got there a little before 2 and she was not on any oxygen and finally didn't have any tubes or wires connected to her! We got her dressed and waited for the Yokota team to show up.

All prepped for Transport!

 

Once everyone arrived we were extremely surprised when the translator said, "She is stable. Doctor said she can go home since she doesn't need any assistance". We had been told all along that we needed to stay additional time at Yokota but was willing to take her home! My only concern was her color: she was YELLOW! I asked Dr. G if she was too yellow but according to the NICU her bilirubin levels were ok for her age, Dr. G just said we'd bring her in Friday to get rechecked. As we were leaving the NICU staff presented us with a card that had her pictures on it, I'm getting it framed!

 



The card the NICU nurses made!

 

We meet the ambulance at Yokota and only had to go up to the Family Care Unit for our car seat check and get the newborn paperwork we were never given when I was discharged. With a hungry little girl we had to make a commissary run for formula and then it was Home!!!

Such a Happy Daddy!

 

Snuggles with his Little Lady!

 

Sawyer was amazing with her from the start! He hates when she cries and tells her "Don't cry, Baby Sister". Every time he wakes up he asks where she is and insists on seeing her. He even asks to "hold" her a lot. It usually lasts about 30 seconds or just enough for him to give her a kiss or say  "sooo cute".

Such a Good Big Brother!

 

Now my Mommy instinct kept saying something wasn't quite right. She slept more than I thought a newborn should(5-6 hours at a time), it was extremely hard to wake her up, she barely ate, and to top it off she was now SUPER YELLOW! Of course I get on Google- which is a bad idea! Dr. Google always makes me assume the worst which was my baby was badly jaundice and at risk of brain damage! Thankfully we had an appointment the next day.

 

We took her to the lab on base for her bilirubin test before her Peds appointment. That was a horrid experience because she screamed and screamed, Zack was mad at the Tech because he was taking so much blood, Sawyer was getting mad cause his Sister was screaming so I was left trying to calm everyone down. Next stop was Peds, we learned she had lost 13% of her birth weight. The nurse went through a bunch of paperwork and did her hearing test, which she passed thank goodness. We waited for the lab results but I could tell by the nurse and Dr. G's reaction that they figured something was wrong, then the hospital intercom call came through and my heart sank. Dr. G had said they usually page if its bad news, so she left the room and came back and instantly I started crying. I was trying to suppress the tears though cause Sawyer was with us and I didn't want to get him worked up. Dr. G said we would need to be admitted immediately due to Hyperbilirubinemia to start a 12 hour session of phototherapy. I then asked what would happen if 12 hours under the lights didn't help, which I was presented with an even more frightening answer: If the levels got worse the next option would be an exchange transfusion, which would require off base care again.

At that moment I felt like the weight of the world was crushing me, I didn't want our little girl to be back in the hospital, I felt like I did something wrong during pregnancy to cause all the issues or maybe the doctors missed something. At that moment I was also angry because had they maybe checked before sending us home we wouldn't have been in the position of having to be readmitted to the hospital.

 

Once we got settled into our room, the nurse explained the process and under the lights she went. 

I swear I counted every minute, every hour of those 12.

 

All settled in under the lights

 

I sent Zack and Sawyer home because neither of them do too well in hospital situations and there wasn't really a reason for us all to sit around staring at her. For 12 hours I stared, I had been up since 2am and was exhausted but I didn't want anything to happen that I could prevent. I made sure her mask stayed on (because they told me if she stared at the light it could cause blindness), I tried feeding her every 2 hours like they wanted, I prayed she would pee or poop so I could log it on the sheet and see progress. At times all I could do was cry and pray. We even tried syringe feeding to see if she was having an issue with the nipples on the bottles to try and get her to eat more. But everything from eating, burping and diaper changes were done under the lights to get her maximum exposure.

Syringe Feeding

   

The boys came back after dinner to keep me company. It was a good break from staring at Bristol under the lights. Zack was comforting me and we had a good heart-to-heart while I got some snuggle time in with Sawyer. Being a family of four fills my heart and makes me feel complete. They left to get settled for Sawyers bed-time and I just kept counting down the hours until the Complete Blood Count (CBC) and bilirubin check at 11pm. The CBC was to rule out any infections that could be causing the Hyperbilirubinemia. That 11pm time came and I was so ready to hold my baby girl, Zack and I were texting and clinging to the minuets that passed while we waited for the results. Forty-Seven, yes I kept track, minuets later they came in and said we were done with the lights for the night! Her bilirubin level had dropped from 18.1 to 12.4, which was a low-risk level for her age, but we would need to retake the levels in the morning to make sure they weren't on the rise again. I snuggled her and kissed her then proceeded to get a few hours of sleep between feedings until morning. The morning check made me even more nervous, I didn't want anymore bad news, but the way my week had been going it was hard to be optimistic. When the day nurse walked in with the results I could of hugged her! The morning levels were even lower than the 11pm reading (11.23), Bristol had even gained a little weight!!! We just had to wait for Dr. G to come look at her then discharge us. We had an appointment for weight check on Monday and were hitting the halls running after those papers were signed!

Just hanging out in the hospital room!

 

 

There we were home as a family of four, on the one week mark of Bristol's life!

Our Non-Yellow One Week Old!!!

 

Over the last 48 hours, I make sure that Little Miss is woken up to feed no more than 3 hours between feedings during the day and I let her go 4 hours between at night, she probably thinks I'm a pest but we need her 100% better! Zack and I have a log that we keep with feeding times and amounts as well as diapers, that way when we go to her appointments I can show them the progress and effort we are making at home to get her better.

This morning we had her weight check appointment, she is still weighing in at 7lbs 11ounces (same as she was Saturday morning). Dr. G said she doesn't look any more yellow but she can still see yellow from her head to her chest. With the 4-day weekend approaching we go back in two days to make sure she is still making forward progress. Until we get two thumbs up that she is completely better I will always be worried and anxious at the appointments in fear of bad news but I try to stay optimistic. Until next time...

 

XOXO

Jenn

The Joy, The Fear, The Love

As you know Little Miss Bristol Nicole Smith was born on Saturday June 22nd at 0821. Weighing in at 8lbs 6oz, no other measurements were taken because she had some issues, but I'll get there! I'm getting a lot of so what happened so I figured I'd share our birth story!

Thursday the 20th I had my Pre-Op/38 week appointment, I had her check my progress and was disappointed to hear that I hadn't changed from my 36 week appointment. I only had to wait 5 more days so I just kept telling myself to be positive since the end was so close! Zack was on his final 3 days of work before going on leave and I was just hanging out with Sawyer enjoying my last few moments with one child. Friday night was like any other night we went to bed early so Zack could get up for work, I woke up around 2am (my usual hunger pain time). What woke me was a really strange feeling, Bristol was shaking in my belly, she didn't do it long but it was an odd sensation. Not 5 minuets after I woke up as I was walking to the kitchen I had my first contraction. Now it hurt, made me stop in my tracks but it wasn't super long. The contractions kept coming about every 4-5 mins and I decided since Zack only had 1 more 8hr shift the next day that I would drink some water and take a bath maybe that would relax my body and stop what I thought were Braxton Hicks. By this time its 3:30am and they weren't stopping, I was too uncomfortable to lay down so I paced. I made hot laps around the kitchen and to the bedroom and back. After 2 hours of constant 3-5min apart contractions I thought I would wake Zack up and ask him if he thought we should go in, I was still in denial I was in labor! I tried a shower to see if that would help me relax, of course it didn't. At this point I felt the urge to pee every 10min or so and finally lost my mucus plug around 4:45. At that point I told Zack this might be the real deal. He kept asking if he should call work since he was supposed to be there at 6:30, and I kept saying "No, they will stop". Around 5:15 Zack convinced me to call MSU to see if I should go in to get checked, I hadn't felt Bristol move since she woke me up at 2 but when your contracting and it hurts so bad I only felt the contractions and thought maybe I was just missing the kicks or something. About 5:30 the on-call doctor asked if I could come in so they could at least check me and the baby out. I asked Zack to call his supervisor. Thankfully one of my friends was up and asked if I needed help so I was able to get Sawyer covered. With Zack in uniform, ready to head to work if it was a false alarm, and hospital bag in tow we headed over to the Hospital around 6.

Once they got me wheeled up to MSU and I was hooked up to the monitors they wasted no time in checking me. I was contracting every 2 minuets at this point. Zack was very supportive and just kept giving me encouragement at the same time joking around to try and relieve some of my pain. What the nurse then told me shocked me "You are about a 3, let me go call the doctor". Now with Sawyer I was dilated to 4 for 3+ weeks, so the fact that I was making progress with steady contractions shocked both Zack and I. The look on Zack's face after what came next was priceless. Dr. Small came into the room and said, "Well your in active labor, looks like I'll get the team rolling and we will have a baby in a few hours".

The next two hours consisted of needle pokes, IV's, questions, more questions, and excitement/nerves. Zack scrubbed up and I was ready to roll, I was more than ready because I wanted the pain meds as the contractions were not easing up and they were starting to make me shake cause they hurt so bad! Around 8 they rolled me back into the OR to welcome Bristol!

The OR was a crazy experience. I was wide awake just checking things out while they prepped me. The anesthesiologist was super nice and excellent, I was a little nervous that just a shot in my spine would do the trick but it was way better than an epidural! All the doctors and nurses were joking around with me and helping me through the contractions. Then it came time, I was numb, draped, and they brought Zack in. I could feel the odd pressure of him tugging but no pain as we just waited to her that first cry. With Sawyer I was so drugged I barely remember his first cry, but this time around at 0821 it was the most beautiful sound ever, I instantly cried. They announced it was a girl and began cleaning her as she keep screaming. Dr. Small made a comment that I had a lot of meconium in my fluid but just kept doing his thing to get me back together. He also doesn't pull out the uterus like some doctors do, he leaves all your insides in there and works inside you which is supposed to increase healing time. Zack cut the cord and held Bristol up to meet me, her color still very grey. The nurses and Zack took her up to the L&D room to get measurements and all that jazz while they closed me. Yokota doesn't have a nursery so everything in done in the L&D room.  I was joking with the doctors and everyone was having a fun time. I was so excited to get back and hold my baby girl, but what came next was yet another of the scariest times as a parent.

The instant my bed turned the corner I knew something was wrong. There was 3 people hovered over her whispering and Zack was behind them just staring. I instantly said "What is Wrong with her, What is going on?" and all Zack could do was shrug. Panic set in, my mommy instinct wanted nothing more than to take away all her pain. I could tell she was struggling to breath and was worn out. The pediatrician started telling people to get her prepped for transport and had a translator start finding a NICU that would accept her. What seemed like hours of watching my baby girl struggle to puke up black stuff and breath was torture, I cried held Zack's hand and felt crushed. Zack just kept telling me it would be ok and she was a fighter. After they got her sedated and got her breathing tubes, IV, X-ray's and other tubes in the pediatrician was able to tell us what was going on... Bristol had swallowed tons of Meconium but it was not only in her stomach but sucked into her lungs. The pediatrician was concerned she may be suffering from Meconium Aspiration Syndrome, which can lead to pneumonia, sepsis, and other infections. I felt like I had done something wrong, was there warning signs I missed, could I have stopped it?

Sedated before leaving Yokota

Sweet Little Girl Fighting So Hard

The Transport Crew

Zack worked with the translator on getting the information of the hospital information and I just stared at our little fighter. Dr. Small, Dr. Bolte? (anesthesiologist) never left the room, they were right by Bristol and I's side the entire time. The support from the Yokota team was amazing. I didn't want Zack to leave Bristol's side and he didn't. He went with her to the NICU while I laid at Yokota worrying about my baby. Even after they took her the Doctors stayed to comfort me and explain there was nothing that could have been done to prevent it. They asked if I wanted anxiety meds or sleeping meds but I declined because I wanted to be fully aware if Zack called me. I couldn't sleep, I just laid there and prayed. I learned that the Yokota Team (1 pediatrician, 1 nurse, and 1 tech) worked with the translator and the staff of Tachikawa Hospital running test to get a diagnosis. The ambulance drivers stayed with Zack in the waiting room, I knew at this point our Baby was getting the best care she could. I got the text that they were headed back in the afternoon.

Dr. Speakman the pediatrician got to my room before Zack did. She said that Bristol's tests showed that she did have MAS (Meconium Aspiration Syndrome) and that the next 48hrs were crucial. She had been given an antibiotic to fight any infection that could of already started but she would need to remain on a ventilator to assist her breathing until she could maintain her pulse/ox on her own, without the ventilator her pulse/ox wouldn't go above 60. Zack was able to get pictures of her settled into the NICU and insured me that she was getting great care. We were told since it was a Saturday that on Monday they would have a conference with both hospitals and a translator to let us know what was going on. They had our cell phone numbers and said if anything went wrong they would call us, so it was like waiting on pins and needles praying your cell phone never rang!

Now I hate the waiting game, especially when the health and wellness of my family is at stake. I pushed hard on Saturday to get recovered, the doctors wanted me out Sunday morning so I could go see her, but my body was not ready to be released 24hours after surgery. I was in too much physical pain and knew if they released me I would not heal well or hurt myself. I made the decision to stay another day to heal more before being released. Zack went to visit Bristol, took pictures and gave me the best update possible. It was hard knowing she was a day old and hadn't really seen her Mommy, but Zack told her I was thinking of her and love her!

I worked hard on getting out of bed, walking and paced myself. Once I got my pain managed I knew I was good to be released! Monday morning was emotionally hard. We had been told that a rumor was already going around the nurses that she was no longer on her breathing tubes which I never heard other than them coming to tell me it wasn't true. With Yokota being such a small hospital and it was the weekend everyone kind of knew our situation. I was happy to be coming home to my boys but felt like a piece of me was missing leaving with Bristol. I felt like we got the pity stares as we left but nothing was bringing me down since I was getting to visit my Little Bug for the first time since she was born!

I came home showered, got make up on and started feeling a bit more human. Once we got to Tachikawa Hospital it was overwhelming. Everything is in Japanese, we were the ONLY Americans, but I didn't care knowing that I was under the same roof as her was a relief. We watched the clock since NICU visiting hours are only 1300-1500, at 1259 we made our way to the door. I scrubbed up, gowned up, got my slippers on and followed the lady til I saw our chubby little American Baby! That hour of my life will be cherished forever- my body was tired of sitting and sore so I could only last an hour but she knows she is loved. The NICU nurse used very broken English but enough to tell us no more ventilator and they were feeding her formula. I just sat and stared at her, told her stories and touched her. Then as we were leaving she took our first picture together.

Just Missing Sawyer to make it a complete Smith Family Picture!

As soon as we got home we got the news from the conference! Bristol is breathing on her own keeping her stats up, she is eating, and after she finishes her antibiotics on the 26th they can release her. Now Yokota has a rule that after a baby is release from a NICU off base they must be evaluated on base for 1-2 nights. So as of now Bristol is set to come to base tomorrow, where I will stay with her and we can hopefully bring her home Friday at the latest!

I am truly blessed and amazed at the support that we have here! Its not easy having a toddler to worry about with this and I don't want him feeling left out or pushed to the side but we have amazing friends here who have stepped in. Zack has also done an amazing job spitting his time between Sawyer, myself and Bristol! I couldn't ask for a better husband and father to my children!

Time to rest up before our visit with Bristol today. Until next time...

XOXO
Jenn