Thursday, October 31, 2013

High Centered on a Speed Bump

There are many roads I travel on a daily basis: Mommy Lane, Wife Drive, Fitness Way, Friend Road, Life Highway, etc. A lot of times its a lot like trying to navigate Japan without GPS, sometimes its smooth travels, some roads have speed bumps, and sometimes 2 roads are combined into 1.
Traveling down Getting Healthy Lane and speed bumps start appearing. Some serve their purpose of slowing you down while some you just get stuck on. When I first started I hurt my knee and I was slowed down but never gave up! Then I was ROCKIN' my walk 50 in October goal, things were doing so well until I realized I wasn't doing things for the right reason. Where I have been high centered on a speed bump for a little while now. I want to be healthy, but what constitutes being healthy? We eat fairly "skinny" most of the time and I exercise so I am Healthy, right?
A few weeks ago I realized I was stuck on just watching that number on the scale, a number shouldn't control ones life so much. I asked my husband "Does it look like I am getting skinny" The reply was an eye opener! "Well, kinda but you still have a lot of flab, why don't you tone?", now yes those words hurt a little but at the same time it was something I needed to hear! I am so thankful for an honest man, he also said "You are fine and I love you anyway you are" (so please don't think his reply was rude!) Then I got to thinking WHY? Why am I doing this? Well, I am doing all these early workouts to fit into my clothes I was in last summer, so my husband thinks I am hot and people don't think I am fat.  When I made my WHY List I realized something. No where in my list did I mention doing this for ME. I was so worried and focused on other peoples thoughts, physical appearance (so others wouldn't judge) and pleasing others that I was putting myself through a tad bit of torture doing it. So about 2 weeks ago I took a break. This break was an emotional and physical break. During my break I relooked at why I want to do "get healthy", I am learning to imperfections (the stretch marks and flab) and I realized that pushing myself too hard will result in nothing. I am ready to get back into things but not as crazy as before. I am done trying to do things to please others. I am ME. I don't plan on changing ME to please others. My body will get back to where I was, but at the same time I need to look for fashion assistance to find clothes that flatter the figure I have not trying to push myself hard into clothes I've had for years. Although I lacked on my fitness the past two weeks I haven't given up hope. I did fail my goal of Walk 50 in October by about 10miles which sucks but I WILL NOT GIVE UP! Plus it was a good reminder that you cant succeed every time.
Upcoming Events I am looking forward too:
-November 9th: Heart of America "Virtual 5k", that I will be running that the proceeds go to the Wounded Warrior Project.
-November 30th: Run for the Cure 5k in Tokyo. Still looking for a sitter since Zack has to work now so hopefully I can still make it!

During my Fitness break I was able to focus on the kids a bit more too! I have lately been cutting back on technology. I don't log in or stay logged into Facebook as much, I even deleted it from my phone so I no longer get notifications while I am away! Not sitting at the computer all day is quite relieving actually! I have been coloring and other fun crafts as well as playing more which has let me see how creative Sawyer is. Its so fun to see how he incorporates his imagination in what he does! Sawyer loves taking pictures so I have started a folder on the computer of his work check out these two he took while we were doing our pumpkins this last weekend:
"Say Cheese Mommy"

He said "Smile Baby Sister"

I have even been reading more! Heck I finished two books in the last week! Its amazing what you can do when you aren't running yourself ragged! So as I look to start back into things I need to remember that: "Moderation is key"!
My last weigh in was October 15th at 159.8, about 9 pounds from pre pregnancy weight. I have gotten rid of all my maternity pants! Something that took me WAY longer with Sawyer! Even though the weight loss isn't huge I feel like the emotional revelation I had these last two weeks was much more of an accomplishment than anything!

Well its time to get ready for the day, Got to make sure we are all rested up for Trick or Treating tonight!
Happy Halloween! Maybe tonight while "Trick or Treating" we can finally get a picture of all four of us together!

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